Ask Link, Ganondorf, and their friends!
by Billiam and Jefferson
Summary: Ask Link, Ganondorf, Sonic, and Shadow any questions you have! even why this fic has such a lame title!
1. Default Chapter

Wing: Wait whoa; my contract does not state this! 

Fed: Actually, it says right there in Clause 13, by making a joint account, the real you is liable to any sort of torture including hosting ask fics 

Wing: You're right... *sigh* Welcome to "Ask Link and Ganon and Their Friends. Man that is such a lame title! As soon as this show is over, I'm burning my contract and forging a new one! 

Link: What's his problem?

Ganondorf: Probably thinks what happened to Tikal is gonna happen to him.

Sonic: What, he likes the same Anime romances as Tikal?!

Link: My God, you'd have to be a poor soul to like AAML and S+S.

Shadow: LET'S GET HIM!

Wing: Hey! I didn't introduce you guys yet! 

Shadow: Forget the intros, GET HIM!

Fed: Hold it! 

All Four: Eh?

Fed: According to your contract you must wait backstage until you are introduced. That is all.

Wing: What do you know, the contract helped me! Well, anyway, our first guest is, you know him! You love him! You can't live without him! You think he's a clone of Captain Falcon, when really Captain Falcon's the clone--

C.Falcon: *From audience* HEY!

Wing: Shut up, Falcon! Anyway, it's Ganondorf! 

Ganondorf: *Struts out* Just call me Ganon the Cannon!

Fed: I'd rather not due to copyright infringement.

Wing: That's all right, I cleared it with Dr. Nick. Who didn't see that coming, anyway? Next, he's a swordsman, an archer, and a hookshot-guy...okay now THIS is crappy dialogue! 

Fed: Contract! 

Link: Yeah, introduce me already ya moron!

Wing: -_- Er...Link.

Ganondorf: Call him Link the Stink!

Link: You cheap bastard! I oughta...

Crowd: JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!

Wing: *Turns on his buster* I also double as security.

Crowd: *Quiets down*

[Author's Note: The buster Wing refers to is a Megaman type gun, or if you haven't played Megaman it's kinda like Samus's]

Link: I'll see you after the show She-man! 

Ganondorf: How dare you insult me race's weird genetic code?!?!

Link: Me race's? You sound Scottish!

Wing: *Starts charging the buster* Do NOT tempt me.

Ganondorf: Well, can I help it if this stupid author made a typo?!

Link: Uh Ganon, me and you are the authors of this Fic.

Ganondorf: Oh sure, tell the whole world!

Link: I think I just did. This is being broadcasted in 67 countries world wide.

Ganondorf: &*%#&*% (&$%#)&%Y#& $)&$%*^% #_(3#35673

Wing: He's cool, has cool hair, is the ultimate life form, and someone I actually want to introduce: it's Shadow the Hedgehog!

Shadow: *Walks out* Thank you, thank you hold your applause.

Audience: SHA-DOW, SHA-DOW, SHA-DOW, SHA-DOW!

Link: Hey, they didn't do that for us...

Ganondorf: I bet it's your fault!

Link: Are not!

Ganondorf: Are two!

Link: Are not!

Ganondorf: Artoo-deetoo! Oh wait, this is bad grammar.

Link: Quiet Clone-boy! Or should I say Clone-girl? 

Wing: *Still charging* A-HEM. *Link and Ganondorf shut up*

Wing: now fianlly the pathetic clone of the ultimate life-form, who thinks he's cool cause he's all righteous and junk-

Sonic: Just introduce me!

Wing: and he's quite pissy too

Sonic: I AM NOT PISSY!

Wing: sonic the hedgehog

Sonic: *walks out* thank you! Thank you!

Audience: BOO! WE WANT SHADOW, GET OFF THE STAGE! 

Sonic: *sits down* ingrates…

Wing: okay, it's simple, send in your questions, and those four answer them

Fed: actually they can send you questions too

Wing: WHAT?!?!?!?! Please for the love of god, don't send me questions! If you do I'll have to stay here, and if I stay, they'll send me to Tierra del Fuego!

Shadow: hey, he DOES like the same romances as Tikal!

Sonic: GET HIM!

Wing: aw crap… *runs for his life* send in those questions, I'll do the next chapter when I get 10 reviews, just DON'T SEND THEM TO ME!!!!! *is tackled from behind* AND HELP ME!!!!!

____________________

As he says, send in those reviews! The more we get the better the fic this is, just try not to have too many questions, or it'll take forever to sort through them and get to the next chapter!


	2. Part two? Part two Part two part two!

Ask Ganondorf, Link and their friends!

Disclaimer: nope dun own it

Author's note: wow, it took longer to get to 10 reviews then I thought… oh well what matters are there are 10 so I can do the next chapter! And oh yeah, if you spelled a word wrong (accidental or purpose) I'll be using spell-check to correct it so, you don't have to worry your self to much about spelling

…

Sonic: hey where's the intro?

Shadow: I think wing normally did it but he's in Tierra del Fuego right now

Link: great now the show will never start!

Ganondorf: and it's all because of you two losers!

Sonic: is it my fault he like AAML and S+S?

Ganondorf: do you even know for sure that he liked those?

Sonic: well…I assumed…

Ganondorf: you IDIOTS!

Wing: *runs in* Hi everybody!

Ganondorf: I thought you were in Tierra del Fuego!

Wing: well I was, and it took so long for the reviews to get in I decided to take a vacation

Ganondorf: oh…

Wing: anyway, without further ado I welcome you to the second edition of "Ask Link, Ganondorf and there friends!"

Link: he seems cheerier then usual…

Shadow: must've been the vacation…

Wing: anywho, our first person is the Clow Hatter!

Clow Hatter: *evil grin* Great, it's written by two characters I want to merciless die in a very horrible way, especially Elfy.

Shadow: ha ha! Elfy!

Link: wow 5 seconds in to the show and I've already been insulted…

Clow Hatter: *pouts* I think I used all my good questions to mentally scar Young Link. Awww....

Link: *sarcastic* I feel sooooo sorry for you…

Clow Hatter: Sonic-In the Archie Comics of Sonic, issue 110#, the people of Station Square try to nuke the Eggman. In your personal opinion, if you had nuclear weapons on you...would to also nuke the Eggman as well? 

Sonic: No, Eggman is the easiest to scam on poker night

Shadow: he sure is, I got his pants from him! *pulls out giant pair of pants*

Ganondorf: I got his egg walker, now I can go joy riding after the show!

Clow Hatter: Ganondorf-How does it actually feel being the only dick in the country? Now this is going to be REAL INTERESTING, kids.

Ganondorf: it feels nice, oddly enough-HEY! WHO MESSED WITH THE CUE CARDS?!?!?!?

Sonic: *whistles innocently*

Clow Hatter: Hylian Bastard" Link-What's with the tunic that looks like skirt? Can't you die a horrible horrible death? Why in the gamecube Zelda game, you look like a midget with evil eyes? Are you really gay? (You must be if you let Shiggy countless mock his own creation 24/7!!! LoL!!)  
Oh, why am I calling you a "Hylian Bastard"? Simple, you are one and plus you anal raped my Yoshi player with your sword in Smash Bros.

Link: I'll answer these all at once *takes a deep breath

Ganondorf: this'll be good

Link: The tunic is standard Koriki clothing it was either this or the dress. I can, but I'll try my hardest not to. You know what? I-DON'T-KNOW! Nintendo doesn't tell me these things anymore! No I'm not gay. I don't know why you're calling me a Hylian Bastard. It wasn't me; it was one of the many clones that Master hand made of me.

Ganon: wow, he did all of that without blowing his top

Shadow: is he on Ritalin?

Link: yes, yes I am

Clow Hatter: Shadow-If you could explain all your qualities, persona, and characteristics into one word that bestly describes you...what word will that be?

Shadow: it would be…

*we are experiencing technical difficulties*

Link: wow that fits really well

Shadow: well I stayed up till about 5 thinking of it

Link: 5 A.M.?

Shadow: no 5 P.M.

All: *stare at Shadow*

Shadow: hey you've heard the saying; early to bed early to rise makes a person strong aware and wise

Ganondorf: that's not how it goes

Shadow: I know

Clow Hatter: I'll be back with more questions, if these questions haven scarred Elfy yet.

Link: I'll be waiting with a case full of Ritalin

Wing: next up, M2 the Mewtwo Guru!

M2: Zello, everyone. I'm here to uh...question you? Yah that!

Link: you'll never get anything out of me copper! *burns up a piece of paper, and swallows the ashes*

Wing: Link, you're being paid to answer her questions…

Link: oh yeah…

M2: Sonic- Listen up you pissy little fur ball! Shut your yap and be good or I'll....sen the mews after you and...dress you up like Barney!

Sonic: one, I ain't pissy, two bring it on

Link: you stole some of my Ritalin

Sonic: problem?

Link: no, not really

Ganondorf: their calmness is a real downer…

Shadow: yeah usually we're the calm ones and they're the hyperactive idiots

Wing: M2 please continue before Depression descends upon my fan fic

M2: Shadow- Before I think you are a wimp like Sonic, can you at least kick his leg? It won't be that bad.

Shadow: I'll do better then that *cracks Sonic's leg bones like twigs*

Sonic: …ouch

Shadow: Geez! How much Ritalin did you take!?!

Sonic: couple crates, why?

Shadow: never mind *sulks back to his seat*

M2: Ganondork- Did you realize I put Ganondork for you name? Do you hate that? Oh well. I'm sure many people like to make fun of you. No hard feelings...it's just funny!

Ganondorf: just call me "Ganon the cannon!" not Ganondork

M2: All- How the heck did you become friends? Two weird...uh...weird guys, and two freak hedgehogs... how in the world did you become friends?

Ganondorf: well me and Link went down to Moe's Tavern with another Friday night without a date, and we were drinking our sorrows away in many many duffs, when Sonic and Shadow walked in, they were drummed out of their poker league for un-named reasons, so the four of us had a poker game together, and since then we've been thick as thieves!

Shadow: geez, whatta corny way to tell a story, you didn't even tell them about the mass casualties

Ganondorf: well I wanted to keep it short

Shadow: ah

M2: Tis all I have to ask so, Sha sha!

Ganondorf: Sha Sha?

Shadow: what kind of crappy word is Sha Sha?

Sonic: HEY! DON'T QUESTION THE SHA SHA!

Link: HOW DARE YOU QUESTION THE SHA SHA?!?!?! *they both attack Ganondorf and Shadow*

Ganondorf: OW! OKAY I'M SORRY!

Shadow: PLEASE STOP PUMMELING ME!!

Link and Sonic: you shant question the Sha Sha again!!!

Ganondorf: okay! Geez!

Wing: uh…up next is Dr. Nick!

Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!

Everybody: Hi Dr. Nick!

Dr. Nick: Link & Ganondorf & Shadow, too-Can you drag your respective clones (Y.Link and C.Falcon) and beat them senseless? You are the originals, not them! Shadow, do the same to Sonic, too.

Ganondorf and Link: Okay! *run off to find their clones*  

Shadow: *evil grin* oh I'm gonna enjoy this *cracks knuckles

Ganondorf and link: *come back with clones*

Wing: let the beating commence!

Ganondorf: knock me out and lock me in a safe so you can steal my spot in the first super smash bros. Game will ya? Well take THIS! *rips off C. Falcon's head*

Link: I never liked small clones of myself! *beats Y.Link's head with a stick*

  
Shadow: Time to put this to rest…

Sonic: but you just started!

Shadow: DISAPPEAR! *Sonic is engulfed by many chaos spears*

Sonic: OUCHIE! OUCHIE! OH THE TERRIBLE PAIN! 

Wing: okay that's enough *y. link and C. Falcon disappear, and sonic is healed* continue please Dr. Nick

Dr. Nick: All-Can you beat up Marth and Ness and then turn them into beef jerky with a ray gun, and then serve the beef jerky to rabid were poodles?

Link: sorry we dun like Marth bashing

Ganondorf: but we'll gladly beat up Ness and uh… Li showron!

Sonic and Shadow: *drag the two on stage*

Ganondorf: gentlemen, start your engines!

The four run at them and start beating the living who-ha out of them, they continue for about four hours

Ganondorf: Link, the Ray gun! 

Link: *hands Ganondorf a ray gun*

Ganondorf: *shoots them and they transform in to puppy chow* ...why didn't they turn in to beef jerky?

Link: budget cuts

Ganondorf: oh well close enough! Release the were poodles! 

Link: More budget cuts

Ganondorf: well what do we have then?!?!

Link: a batch of rabid Pikmin, courtesy of M2, and Mewtwo

Ganondorf: release the rabid mews then! 

Link: aye aye cap'n! *releases the rabid Pikmin, and they eat the puppy chow in an instant*

Ganondorf: wow, never saw puppy chow bleed….

Link: I didn't know Pikmin had such sharp teeth

Sonic: I didn't know Pikmin even had teeth

Shadow: I didn't know there was such a thing as a rabid Pikmin

Wing: please continue Dr. Nick

Dr. Nick: That is all.

Wing: okies, next up is soniclink2119

soniclink2119: Sonic, You're cool, you're fast, and I like you, why do the other people hate you? (Although I admit Shadow's sorta cool too, he skates on LIGHT for crying out loud!)

Sonic: Kid, you're alright, and I don't know why everyone hates me

Shadow: cause I'M here!

Sonic: oh yeah, around the time SA2 came out my popularity crumbled like a bad brick wall…

Wing: wow that was short, up next: Edgar!

Edgar: Hello y'all. Cool story. Now here are my questions for now.

Shadow: ask away

Edgar: 1. To all: What's your favorite baseball team?

Ganondorf: the Hyrule Gerudos!

Link: The Hyrule Kuroki's!

Sonic: Hyrule has two baseball teams?

Link: well seeing as Koriki don't age past ten there in the little league

Sonic ah

Shadow: the ARK scientists! 

Sonic: they had a baseball team

Shadow: yeah when they weren't working on weapons of doom, they played baseball!

Sonic: oh, well mine is the Station Square peoples'es

Edgar: 2. To all: Does "The Mad Hatter" mean anything to you?

Sonic: means somebody's been watching too much Alice and wonderland

Shadow: Means somebody sells hats to insane people

Ganon: means an insane hat salesman

Link: means the hat market is very dry

Edgar: 3. To all: Priority Mail or Fed Ex?

Sonic: priority, I'm fast and so is my Mail!

Shadow: Fed Ex, I trust them

Ganon: depends on whether I want the mail to get there fast, or don't care how long it will take

Link: neither, I use e-mail

Edgar: That's all for now. I'LL BE BACK!!!!!!

Link: we'll be waiting…

Wing: next up is A Big Weird Looking Rabid Rabbite

A Big Weird Looking Rabid Rabbite: o.0 Helllllllll-o. 0.o 

Ganondorf: Hiya

Link: sup?

Sonic: how's it hangin?

Shadow: hi   

A Big Weird Looking Rabid Rabbite: Question #1; Oniondorf; or Ganniondorf, or whatever yer name is, what is with the green tinted skin? O.o;

Ganondorf: it's GANONDORF! And it's because I stayed out in the sun to long, my skin used to be a very charming black

Link: Ganon, charming…that's an oxymoron…

Ganondorf: bite me, elf boy

Link: you stole some of my Ritalin to

Ganon: yep

Link: WHY DOES EVERYBODY STEAL MY STUFF?!?!?!

Ganondorf: cause its fun

Link: …

A Big Weird Looking Rabid Rabbite: Question #2; to all; If someone dared you all to do the hula dance, would ya'll?

Ganondorf: no

Link: no

Shadow: no

Sonic: no

A Big Weird Looking Rabid Rabbite: Question #3; If someone released a rabid Rabbite whom chased after Sonniku; what wouldja'll do?

Link: watch

Ganondorf: pull up a chair, and get comfy

Shadow: break out the popcorn

Sonic: so nice to know I have such caring friends…

A Big Weird Looking Rabid Rabbite: :3 That all. 

Link: buh bye Mr. Rabbit 

Wing: next up is Mizustarangel

Mizustarangel: Look its Link & Shadow! KAWAII!!

Shadow: it feels good to be Kawaii

Link: you ain't just whistling dixe brother

Mizustarangel: Gannon: Why are you such a baka? Why didn't you use your triforce to find the other two?

Ganon: 1. nobodies perfect 2. Because the fat cats at Nintendo wouldn't let me (no offense to the fat cats- I mean respectable employees at Nintendo)

Mizustarangel: Can you speak Japanese? What's wrong with S+S?! If you wasn't Kawaii I'd bop you one!

Link: si

Ganon: that's Spanish stupid

Link: oh, well yes I can but I forgot how to say yes. Well for one thing it's Yaoi, and me dun like Yaoi. That's the great thing about being Kawaii

Mizustarangel: Shadow: You're too Kawaii!! What do you think of Rouge & would you get with her?

Shadow: whee! I'm too Kawaii for my own good! I think she has an obsession with jewels, and no I wouldn't, I'd lose my cool reputation

Mizustarangel: Suggestion: Could you get Knuckles to make an appearance? PLZ? That's it!

Wing: I'll think about it

Mizustarangel: Ja Ne!  
~Mi-cha ^__6 

Wing: up next is Static2007

Static2007: Ganadorf: How old are you?

Ganondorf: 23 years, 5 months, and 6 days

Link: you? 23? HA!

Ganondorf: I'll see you after the show elf boy 

Static2007: Link: Why do you put up with Navi?

Link: cause she's better then Tatl

Static2007: Shadow: Is it hard being the best?

Shadow: no all I gotta do is sit here and look pretty

Sonic: you? Pretty? HA!

Shadow: tag team after the show

Ganondorf: heck yeah

Static2007: Sonic: How many times has Amy hit you with her Piko Piko Hammer?

Sonic: 26 and a ½

Shadow: how did she hit a half?

Sonic: she tried to hit me after I just got my spines sharpened, the hammer was cleaved clear in half!

Shadow: ah, of course

Wing: up next is Alman

Alman: *Appears in a puff of smoke*

Sonic: ohh, purdy special effects

Alman: Okay questions

Sonic: hit me!

Alman: Sonic/Shadow: Why are there so many fics about you two being gay?

Sonic: because the human mind is a weird thing, I mean look at wing his mind is weird enough to host this thing!

Wing: but I don't have a choice

Sonic: you're a psycho with enough power to take out Texas, I think that qualifies you to have a choice 

WE INTERRUPT THIS FIC TO PROVIDE YOU WITH INFORMATION!

The psycho with enough power to take out Texas line was borrowed from www.bobandgeorge.com I heavily suggest you read it if you're a fan of Megaman or a fan of humor

We now return you to your regularly scheduled fic

Wing: ……. D'oh!

Alman: Link: What's with the skirt?

Link: standard Koriki apparel, they were designed like this because it was assumed nobody would leave the forest, so people could point and laugh at our funny clothes

Alman: Ganondorf: What's with that sword? you never use it.

Ganondorf: one, it's too rusted. two, it's two powerful. three, I'm a Freakin warlock! Warlocks don't use swords!

Link: what about that Duel monster "Neo the magic swordsman"

Ganondorf: well the fact that he used a sword and magic is what made him so special!

Link: ah, touché

Alman: That's all for now! *Another puff of smoke, but he's still there.* Damn this trapdoor! *beats on it* *Trap door opens and he falls through it*

Wing: uh you might wanna watch out for the feds and lawyers

Alman: feds and lawyers?

Fed: did you know that was cruelty to trapdoors up there?

Lawyer: your contract says you were supposed to ask all of them a question including wing!

Alman: SAVE ME JEBUSS!!!!!

Wing: I can't watch this *closes the trapdoor and he drowns out the sound*

A/n: I hope you didn't mind me talking for you Alman, if you did I'll uh… bake you a cake

Wing: up next is Elfshire

Elfshire: Shadow: How'd you survive?

Shadow: I uh… *waves hand ala Jedi mind trick* there are no plot holes! (another borrowed line from Bob and George, and yes I have no shame)

Elfshire: A Jedi you are not my friend

Shadow: *clubs Elfshire over the head causing a quick stint of amnesia*

Elfshire: Shadow, I was about to ask you something, but I forgot what it was

Shadow: Dandy

Elfshire: anywho, Link: Are you appearing on Soul Caliber II? I heard a rumor that you were...

Link: well wing's never played soul caliber two and doesn't know anything about it and our knowledge is linked directly to his on that kinda stuff, so sorry I dun know

Elfshire: Ganondorf: Are you jealous of this?

Ganondorf: yes, I WANTED TO BE IN SOUL CALIBER II!!

Link: you didn't even know it existed until a few minutes ago

Ganondorf: so?

Elfshire: Sonic: I know Amy is young and annoying, but if she was older would you go out with her?

Sonic: most likely not

Elfshire: All: Who's the strongest?

Sonic: Ganondorf

Link: Yes I admit it, Ganondorf

Shadow: Ganondorf

Ganondorf: Ganondorf, he's so strong and hot and sexy! I mean me!

Shadow, Link, Wing, and Ganondorf: O_o

Ganondorf: what?

Elfshire: Wing: STOP HUMILIATING SONIC

Wing: aw, but it's so fun! Up next is our last person of the day, Nicole!

Nicole: Oooo...interactive fanfics! Goodie...

Wing: I know, other then the fact that the feds and the lawyers are making it miserable it's pretty cool, and the free buffet lunches can't be beat!

Nicole: Link: Why are you friends with Ganondork...er dorf?(couldn't help myself)

Link: cause off the set he doesn't always try to kill my girlfriend and rule the world

Ganondorf: speak for yourself elf-boy!

Nicole: Shadow: Do your shoes run on batteries?

Shadow: no they run off the power I give them when I pump my legs, pretty sophisticated eh?

Nicole: Sonic: Have you ever ran into a tree or something when running at 60 mph through a forest?

Sonic: yes, and it HURTS!!

Nicole: All: Can you all stop picking on Wing for a change?

…I'm guessing the answer is no

Sonic: no

Shadow: never

Link: not in a million years

Ganondorf: not a bloody chance

Wing: wow sure feels nice to know my friends care about me, and that ends another stupid episode of this crappy show, I think I'll retire early

Ganondorf: you're only 13

Wing: quiet GanonDORK!

Ganondork: oh it is ON! *the two get in to a fight*

Sonic: 20 bucks says wing beat the snot outta Ganon

Link: you're on

Just to dispel any junk, no I don't want to quit this show, I wouldn't trade it for any thing in the world, well money maybe, lot's of money would be nice, but until then, I'll keep doing this fic, until I start having dreams about it, then I'll use the dreams for material!


End file.
